Body:
Families struggling with the loss of a loved one often wonder just how quickly they should act after a death to schedule a funeral or memorial ceremony. The short answer to that concern is that there is no short answer. It all depends upon the family’s, the deceased’s, decisions and choices. Here is a brief guide.
What is the average wait?
Statistics are difficult, if not impossible, to come by on this topic, so a unofficial answer will have to suffice. Typically, a funeral is held within 5 to 7 days of a death. This can vary depending on a wide variety of circumstances, so families should not fret if their wait is longer or shorter than this. There are plenty of valid reasons for conducting a memorial ceremony soon then 5 days of a death, and many families and individuals have good reasons for wanting to wait much longer. In short, the average wait time – even if it was easily attainable – is mostly irrelevant to an individual family’s needs.
What do religions say?
Most major religions have little to say on this topic. Jewish and Muslim traditions differ from others on this, however, because they both have very specific time frames by which a person’s body is to be buried, and a funeral is typically held in the presense of a body that has not yet been buried. So in those cases, the funeral is almost always held within 3-4 days of a death. But, as with many other elements to this issue, that is not always a reliable rule. Modern leaders in both the Jewish and Muslim faith have shown signs of being less strict on this question, and, in some areas of the world, regional ethic traditions have superseded religious opinions on this matter. As we have already said repeatedly in this article – and will say several times more – this question is largely a matter of family tradition and personal taste of the family and his or her survivors.
What do laws say?
Laws throughout the western world generally give plenty of flexibility to family members on this decisions. Out of concerns for sanitation, funerals for those who are to be buried are generally not allowed more than, say, 10 days after a death if a body is to be displayed publicly. But, for “closed casket” funerals, the wait can be longer, usually, provided that a body remains refrigerated before the service. In cases of cremation, the legal consideration is usually in regards to speedy funerals. In most cases, a cremation cannot legally be conducted until authorities have had a reasonable amount of time – usually 24-48 hours – to investigate any questionable circumstances of a death. So, a funeral for a cremated person will usually not occur until at least the third day after a death.
What’s the longest we can wait?
Most local laws, not to mention funeral home’s private policies, typically prevent open casket funerals after about 2 weeks of a death. Closed casket funerals can wait, more or less, indefinitely, provided that a body remains refrigerated. Memorial ceremonies for deceased people who have been cremated can occur any time. In fact, some (admittedly rather eccentric) people who desire to be cremated have been known to leave specific instructions that their funeral not be held until months or years after their death. Accommodating this request is certainly possible. Cremation ashes do not expire, of coruse. They can be placed on display at a funeral even years after a person has died. For families looking for options beyond a traditional funeral, see Alternatives to Traditional Funerals for ideas and inspiration.
What are advantages of having a funeral quickly after a death?
Having a funeral quickly after a death can help a family cope with the stress of losing a loved one by making quick work of all the funeral planning details. It may require a family member or two to spend one or two nights of sleepless, stressful work in arranging a quick funeral. But, once the ceremony is over, the private healing can begin quickly. Many families prefer this arrangement, and many deceased have made it known that this is their choice as well. For many people, the thought of a family toiling for days over the planning of his or her memorial ceremony is an uncomfortable thought. These people are most comfortable with the idea that their funeral will be a simple affair, hurried along, so that others can quickly get on with the great work of their lives.
In summary we will say again that there is no correct answer to this question. As with almost all other aspects of planning a memorial ceremony, the choice on this matter is almost entirely dependent upon what works best for the deceased’s family and culture.