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Arranging a funeral can be a very difficult thing, especially in this day in which death is such an uncomfortable topic that many families spend decades carefully avoiding it, even in their most private, loving conversations. Even the wisest of today’s family elders often go to their grave without having giving adequate thought to their final arrangements – they too often even have no idea where their grave will be. This leaves the deceased’s survivors with the stress of having to plan things quickly while also coping with the emotional stress of losing a beloved, trusted soul in their lives.
Fortunately, today’s funeral homes are well prepared for families for whom death as come as a surprise. Just about any funeral director can arrange for a comforting, smooth, and graceful funeral in just a day or two and with very little work required from a family. Just a brief meeting or two with the director is all that is required.
But the price tag for such a service can be exceedingly hefty (as it would be for any valuable, professional service).
So, as the price of a typical funeral continues to spiral upward these days, many family leaders have learned that it is wise to assure their funerals are pre-arranged. In fact, common advice (from psychological counselors and financial advisers alike) maintains that it is never too early for a person to make a plan for his or her own funeral. But doing that can involve some pitfalls if one relies too heavily upon those with a vested, profitable interest in helping.
So this article aims to give some common sense advice for pre-arranging a funeral in such a way that will be an emotional and economical blessing to those who will carry on and protect your life’s legacy for decades and even centuries after you time on Earth has expired.
Funeral Director (and other professionals) Not Required
The first thing to keep in mind about pre-arranging a funeral is that you do not necessarily have to hire the services of a funeral director or any other professional. (Though many such services will likely be offered in various states of pushiness.) Pre-need funeral plans are often much more risky than necessary and a quick calculation of interest rates than can be earned on even the simplest of savings accounts will show that they are definitely in the best financial interest of the company that sells the plan. (This is why funeral homes push such plans rather hard. They are very profitable!)
While life insurance policies do tend to make sense for younger people as they are building the financial resources to care for their family’s independently in the event of their death, burial insurance policies for older people are, like pre-need funeral contracts, rarely a good choice from a financial perspective (unless a person dies relatively quickly after he begins paying on the policy, of course).
The best method by which to finance one’s own funeral is simply a simple savings account. A base principal of just $3,000 or so will almost always yield sufficient interest over the course of 5 years or so to assure that a family can pay for a funeral, in cash, upon receipt of services. For most people who follow reasonable financial practices in their lives, $3,000 can be raised very simply through their own resources in just a few months of small payments to a savings account.
The trick with such an arrangement is to avoid the life-long temptation to tap into this funeral savings account for other purposes. For that, we can offer no advice other than just this wisdom: if you spend your funeral money on something else, your family will likely be unfairly stressed upon your death. Your burial will become a burden, and that is something, surely, no one relishes to have among their final thoughts.
Consult all who will be involved
After you have made sufficient arrangements to assure your own resources can cover your funeral expense, it is important to have a detailed plan for what, exactly your funeral will entail. For this you will likely need to have several important conversations with friends and family to assure that your requests will not be an undue burden upon them. While this may seem an awkward or uncomfortable thing to talk about with the most important people in your lives, it is important to go forth anyway. Simply trust that you are doing the right thing, and that, in the end, your family will be grateful for this service you have provided them – even if they might have been ungrateful for it initially. For guidance on proper conduct and customs during the ceremony, see Funeral Etiquette.
During these conversations, you will want to address very important questions such as how your remains will be disposed, where memorial services will be held, and who will be asked to speak at those services. Some people even take this opportunity to suggest favorite recipes that will be made for post-ceremony gatherings, and still others have been known to buy their own cremation urn that they can display proudly in their home even years before their death.
Put it in writing
After you and your family have decided upon all the details of you funeral, the next step in pre-arranging a memorial service is to simply put your instructions in writing and make sure that document is easily accessible for reference within a day or two of our death. (It is advisable that funeral instructions be included in a separate, legally informal, document from a will. This is because legal issues often keep instructions in a will, or even the will itself, from being accessed for months after a death. Having the funeral instructions in a separate, less formal, form will likely prove to be a blessing. Family members will have no trouble carrying our your desires quickly and easily. ) Once this is done, it is important that you return to this document at least every couple of years or so to make sure it is still reflective of your desires and family’s needs. If changes are needed, it is also important that they be made upon the consultation of other family members. Your goal should be that those who will be charged with carrying our your instructions not be faced with any suprises that will add stress to his or her life as he or she beings to cope with the difficult process of adjusting to life without you.
