When planning a memorial for a beloved family member who has died, a main goal for just about any family is to be sure the occasion fits the deceased’s personality in a tasteful, dignified and memorable way. Families may also want to review Funeral Etiquette to ensure that all attendees feel comfortable and the service runs smoothly. In this day when funeral services and other memorial ceremonies are routinely videotaped and share (sometimes instantly) with others across the globe, it is more important than ever to remember that the service one is planning will likely be a key part of the entire legacy left behind by the family member. So it is important to get the occasion right.
And the casket that a family choses for a beloved member plays a big part in doing that.
Personalizing a casket was once, perhaps, a minor consideration, one that could even be overlooked entirely without any detrimental effect on a memorial service. Today, families benefit from following Funeral Planning Tips to make thoughtful choices that reflect the deceased’s personality. Common wisdom once held that, since a casket will only be buried forever — often just moments after a funeral service – it might even be foolish to spend a great deal of energy, effort and even money to assure a casket is anything other than, say, a sturdy pine box. Even wood stain or paint was not considered a necessity for caskets in days gone by.
But that is certainly no longer the case today.
The very word “casket” (a term that undertakers of the 19th century borrowed from jewelers in order to highlight the eternal, emotional importance of the “coffin’s” contents) points to the strong need for making sure a loved one’s “vessel into eternity” is as personal and as dignified as possible. This article points to some specific reasons for personalizing a casket and then delves into a few ideas for that loving deed.
Reasons to Personalize a Casket
Personalizing a casket is important from a variety of perspectives aside from the one we have hinted at above regarding a loved one’s very legacy. Perhaps chief among the reasons for personalizing a casket is the emotional wellbeing of the grieving souls who will be attending a memorial service and seeing their beloved friend or family member for the last time. It is important to these people’s emotional needs at a time of grief that they be able to explore their memories of the deceased from the perspective of just the way they remembered the man or woman in life. So assuring that a casket accurately captures the deceased personality is even more important from this regard than it is from the perspective of capturing a legacy with accuracy. One of the famous five stages of grief is denial, and that is the very stage that most will be in shortly after a death when it comes time to attend a funeral. Jumping from one stage to the next too quickly can be detrimental to a person’s mental health, and it is important for funeral and memorial planners to take that into consideration: a casket that does not put the design focus on the deceased’s personality runs the risk of reminding those in the denial stage of grief that death is, indeed, upon their friend. This can result in an emotional trauma (even if it is only a minor one) that will play havoc with the funeral attendee’s thoughts and feelings for the entire funeral service. So, to assure a healthy grieving experience for those who will be attending and participating in a memorial service, it becomes vitally important that the casket be personalized to adequately reflect the personality – and, indeed, the life – of the deceased.
Personalizing a casket is important from a historical perspective as well. While it is certainly true that a casket is unlikely to be seen by anyone other than historians who may excavate a grave yard hundreds (or even thousands) of years after a person’s death, the casket will – especially in this day of social media and omnipresent cameras – certainly be seen by many others via digital video (whether the pictures be movies or stills). It is important, therefore, that, if the deceased was a dignified United States’ military hero, for example, that his or her casket be designed to reflect that to all who may see the casket during the funeral. If the man was an advid fisherman, for example, it is not a bad idea to outfit the casket with fishing scenes and perhaps even some fishing tackle. And, if the woman was a beloved homemaker, she would certainly best be remembered by a casket design that included plenty of photographers, and other memorabilia of her family. Again, it is important for all responsible for personalizing a casket that the design of the vessel be as much for the living who will see the casket at the funeral as it is for the deceased. Gone are the days in which personalizing a casket was limited to, mostly, stowing a few personal belongings of the deceased inside the casket so they would be with him or her forever. Now personalizing a casket can involve the exterior as well as the interior, making it possible for the deceased’s personality to come through even to those who may not chose to visit the casket in the pre-funeral “viewing” ceremony that typically is part of the overall course of action for an modern memorial service.
Ways to Personalize a Casket’s Exterior
A casket’s exterior is typically the main focal point of entire funeral service, even after the viewing ceremony by which many modern memorial services begin. In in typical funeral, the services will begin, in fact, when the funeral director moves to the front of the chapel or santuary and closes the lid of the casket after family and friends have paid their last respects. At this point, the design on the exterior of the casket becomes the backdrop by which all eulogy remarks from a pastor or anyone else may be delivered.
And thanks to modern technology, a casket’s exterior can be designed in just about any way that a person (or family’s) imagination may see fit. Family photographs can be turned into a memorable montage that can be painted (well, actually decaled) onto a casket, as can special phrases that may have been important in the life of the deceased. And that’s just the start. Most casket makers today have a variety of stock themes – from patriotic to themes regarding sports, hobbies, and well known civic groups or religious organizations – that can ordered on most any casket they sell. To get the design that one wishes to capture a loved one’s personality perfectly, all he or she has to do is to just discuss the ideas with a sales person at just about any retail establishment that sells caskets. Many stock designs can be modified with just the touch that a family needs. Lest one believe that customization choices that may be shown to him or her by a funeral director are all that are available, he would do well to search the internet for a few moments to discover the myriad of opportunities for customization that can be found – most of which may not even be as expensive as they might appear at first glance.
One important note about personalizing a casket’s exterior: care must sometimes be taken to assure that copyright infringements do not interfere with the memorial ceremony. Most establishments that sell caskets are familiar with copyright laws and will not sell caskets outfitted with images or phrases that are the intellectual property of another person or company whose permission has not been obtained. This is why it may be difficult, for example, to find a casket already outfitted with a famous athletic team’s logo, for example. But, as more and more corporations and sports teams are receiving requests from their fans to use their logos on a casket, many casket manufacturers and retailers are working deals with them to assure that rights clearances are issued. So, if your retailers is offering a “New York Yankees” casket on its website, chances are very strong that the company has arranged sufficient permission from the baseball to use the logo on the caskets it sells. Nevertheless, it is always a good idea to ask your retailer for evidence that it does, indeed, have such legal clearance. Reputable companies will eagerly provide you with documentation. Also, it is important to be patient with retailers and manufacturers who do not have legal access to the copy right images you may desire for your loved one’s casket. Asking a company to add a corporate logo to which either it, or you, have legal permission to use is never a good idea and could likely end up resulting in an unfortunate disagreement before, during, or just after your loved one’s memorial service. Many companies believe that selling their image for use on a casket is simply not in their best interest from a business and marketing perspective, no matter how loyal the deceased fan or customer may have been. It is never a good idea to challenge such a business decision in the heat of the moment as many who are in grief over the loss of a loved one simply want to be able to remember their friend or loved one with dignity and grace. Instigating legal fights at such a time is simply not a good idea from a memorial perspective.
Ways to Personalize a Casket’s Interior
Personalizing a casket’s interior is something that has actually been done for as long as there have been caskets. Only, in modern days, it can become more meaningful and special.
In general, personalizing a casket’s interior involves assembling small momentos of the deceased’s life and placing them on or near the body. One man in Texas, for example, has long made it known to his family and friends that he desires a particular fishing pole — from his collection of more than 300 – be placed in his arms upon his death and presented with his body at his funeral (and then buried with him, of course). Another way the interior of a casket can be personalized is with special colors and materials used on the bedding and even the bedding itself can be personalized to fit the deceased’s personality. A woman who liked to be surrounded by fluffy pillows at her home, would no doubt be best suited for her memory by an assortment of bright, colorful, fluffy pillows scattered all throughout the casket. Likewise, a man who spent a great deal of time outdoor in the rough may be well remembered by an interior design that includes a thin and scrawny mattress. A few people have even been known to request a sleeping bag be their resting place upon their demise.
All that said, the main feature that many people think of first when considering their personalization options for a loved one’s casket interior is the top of the casket lid – the part that the deceased would presumably see if he or she were to suddenly open his or her eyes underground. Though a casket is typically closed by the funeral director just before the funeral itself begins, this part of the casket is on display– and a key focus of all that happens in the funeral chapel – until the moment the service starts. So it has a big influence on the tone of the memorial ceremony. Hence, this part of the casket’s personalization is almost as important as the exterior design, and, in most cases, it is complimentary to the exterior design as well. This is the place in which families can leave fitting messages that their imaginations (and possibly their spiritual leanings) will assure them their friend will be comforted by for an eternity as he or she rests in peace. Having these messages – whether they be in pictures, words, or a combination of the two – on display during a visitation period just before a funeral can be about as comforting a thing as the mourners will experience in the days immediately following a death of someone they care about so deeply.
Hidden Personalization Options
And this is just the start. There are plenty of other options for personalization available on today’s caskets. Many caskets, for example, are outfitted with compartments in which mementos such as wedding licenses, jewelry, military medals and other important items can be stored. And many models of caskets even include hidden compartments that can be used for all sorts of meaningful items.
The important thing to remember for anyone want to create a casket that will be the perfect memorial to his or her loved one is to make sure all options have been exhausted and all ideas have been mentioned to a funeral director or casket sales person. It is sometimes very surprising to learn just what can be accomplished in terms of casket personalization, so customers are always encouraged to bring for their ideas without hesitations. Who knows? It just might be able to be done. (In fact it probably can be done.)